However, on the emotional level, “fake it till you make it “can be empowering advice. The catch is, you have to listen, pay attention and honor the in’s and out’s of your existing emotions as they are. I’m not suggesting this maxim as a way to disregard, suppress, or fix emotions. I’m more suggesting it as a way to get in touch with our innate maneuverability in that little window of space between emotion and response.
I have this rule that goes something like this: “on days when I feel physically sick I will suffer mentally as well.” My threat detection system is contractually obligated to go into over drive and get super judgey. I identify all the little things that “should” be better or different. That contented equanimity I experience when I feel physically well vanishes without a trace, leaving me edgy and frustrated. Which, in turn, compounds the already trying situation.
So the other day I tried “faking it till I made it” or I guess a more appropriate adage would be “faking it till I felt it”. I felt physically horrible but I tasked myself with trying to act like I was okay with whatever happened that day. No matter what went wrong or how I felt, I asked myself to simply try and act peaceful with whatever circumstances arose. Despite me actually feeling the opposite. It felt weird and half-assed, but I was able to smile, laugh and be more at peace than usual.
“Faking it till you feel it” is a way to prove to yourself that different responses are possible. It awakens that dormant power that is omnipresent within us all, change. It shows us that even on our worst days that ability never truly escapes us. It is always and will always be there, we just have to realize that and dust it off.
It’s not about projecting eternal happiness, positivity or smiling through the pain. It’s about not feeling like everything in your life is failing simply because your body is in pain.
If it feels safe, I invite you to just try out feeling what different responses would feel like. Feel what it would feel like to possess the ability to make that impossible decision. Feel what it would feel like to have your circumstances be irrelevant. Feel what it would feel like to have no worries. Experience those feelings, even if they don’t feel great, and they probably won’t at first. But just experience the possibility of different.
As the sage calligrapher, Nabil, says in The Witch of Portobello: “you have understood what all great painters understand: in order to forget the rules, you must know them and respect them.” We all have rules like mine. These conditioned responses developed in order to keep us protected. The magic happens when we can honor that aspect of it while not being consumed by it. If your rules feel worn and outdated “faking it till you feel it” could help inspire your ability to change. The best part is, not many people will be able to tell the difference.